THE LAME-O

My friend Natalie has this one guy friend Keith, whom I had never met up until a few months ago. He met us at a bar and after meeting me apparently he was asking Natalie about me saying “who is that, she’s cute, is she single, what’s her story?”  She filled in him by saying “that’s Yvonne, she was practically married but now she’s single, she’s just enjoying single life now” After we left the bar Natalie told me he was asking about me and I just said “ok, coooool” The following day I got a text from Natalie asking me if I wanted to join her and a couple of her friends for brunch, I declined I had to recover from the previous night. A couple of seconds later she sent me (so I thought) another text saying “hey THE KEITH wants your number, can I give it to him?” So I said “well if he really wants it that bad HE can ask me himself” several minutes go by and I receive a text from a number I didn’t recognize and it read “hey this is THE KEITH can I have your number” WOW….so I wrote him back saying “well seeing as how you just text me I guess you already have it.” After that I started to get text messages from him like every other day asking me if I would go to dinner with him. After awhile of begging I finally gave in and say “fine, I’m off on Sunday lets do something then”  

 A few days pass and we decided to just keep it low key and make dinner and have wine at Natalie’s place. After dinner she got a call from Keith asking what we were doing, she invited him over. (Keep in mind this is before our date) Before Keith arrived at her place I was in the middle of watching “The Bounty Hunter”. He comes in says hello to me then heads out to the patio with Natalie, once they walked back inside I’m sitting on the couch with a glass of wine just enjoying the movie. He sits next to me and he’s trying to talk to me and at one point he then says “geez Yvonne we gotta get you loosen up, relax, and have a good time” Ok for one I was in the middle of movie, I mean who really interrupts someone while they have their attention elsewhere. Second, I’m sick and tried of guys trying to get me to drink to ensure that I have a “good” time, sorry people but I don’t need alcohol to have fun!

At this point I’m super annoyed with this guy then I got a notification on my phone and my ex boyfriend’s sister had messaged me. I was a little surprised because I hadn’t talked to her in a really long time so I was stunned. I guess Keith was watching my face expression and then he says “Oh no who is it; you’re ex boyfriend contacting you?” I just replied back to him saying “Ummm no, just his sister” He then says “Oh no, let me see a picture of this guy, let me see what my competition is” REALLY…guys if you want to make a good impression on a girl don’t try comparing yourself to their ex boyfriend, at least show the girl that you have some sort of confidence!! So I just said “well I don’t have any pictures of us…...actually there’s a picture of the entire wedding party in one of my albums if you want to know what he looks like that bad, then go look on my page” This crazy fool did it, after he facebook stalked my ex he then just gets really annoying and little obnoxious so I tell Natalie I’m just going to head to bed and Keith is like “Oh come on Yvonne don’t go to sleep yet, the night is still young, blah blah blah blah….”

Our date night, he picks me up and it’s the week before my birthday, we ended up going to Addison. He tried to take me to “Genghis Grill” and as we pulled in I said “I’ve eaten here before and I really don’t like this place” I wasn’t trying to be rude but I just don’t believe in paying for something that I’m not gonna eat. So he apologizes and says well where you want to eat then. Every night that week I was gonna be having dinner with one of my friends for my birthday since they already had previous engagements so I really didn’t want to eat the same thing in one week, so I said I wanted Hooters! I happen to really like the food there and he was like “are you being serious right now? This is probably the coolest date I’ve been on if you want to eat there” so I said “yes I am being serious it’s just chicken and girls in shorts no biggie” dinner is ok; we get to talking about how we meet Natalie, our jobs, just random things. After dinner he then takes me to 300 (bowling) he beat me two games and I beat him at playing pool, he asks if I wanted to go out and have some drinks but I said no thank you I really need to head home and do some laundry. He drives me home I thank him for the evening and we hug that’s it, then Natalie calls me and asks if I wanted to join her in Austin Ranch for some drinks so I did. If you can’t tell I wasn’t really into this guy.

My night out for my birthday, it’s crazy how we can run into people we really don’t want to see in Dallas. Well, we ended up going to the same bar Keith was at, earlier that day he had text me and asked what I was doing for my birthday and I just responded with “just going to dinner and out with my really close friends, nothing too big” we end up sitting at a table and he’s there and he’s wasted face then hugs me and says “happy birthday Yvonne” I say “thank you” he then keeps his arm around me and says “DAMN girl, you are sexy as hell” not gonna lie does make a girl feel pretty good when someone compliments them; then after the 100^th time of saying this I say “yea I think I got it the first 50 times you said it” then he takes it upon himself to tell me that he has a “gift”. that is never ending…OOOOOHHHHH REALLLY….so I say “oh, enlighten me what is it?” I’m not going to go into specific detail as to what it was but it’s was really graphic and I may or may not have egged it on but it wasn’t a pretty sight that’s for sure. The night is winding down and we head to valet, as we are waiting for our car Keith is standing by me and is getting into some sort of argument with a random guy Natalie, his friend and I  are trying to calm him down. He pushed his friend and I think ruins his shirt (he ripped it) and then calls me a, and I quote “FUCKING BITCH”.

The next morning I get a text from him saying “oh I’m sorry blah blah blah” then he sent Natalie the same text and she asks him if he remember s saying that to me, he says no and then she asks if he remembers pushing his friend and he says no. Clearly he was drunk but that still no excuse to call me that for no reason….he then blows up my phone with text messages/phone calls/leaving messages apologizing the whole ten yards. Natalie had to basically tell this guy that he lost his chance with me, I mean you would think if I’m not replying to you then I want nothing to do with you. Guess I………..

“should’ve said no a long time ago”

Undo it

Destiny............. Fate................ meant to be.............. "THE ONE".................. soul mates. We all believe in that fairy tale world; especially me since I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. So this next little insight on my life shouldn't come as a surprise as to why I foolishly thought that it was simply "meant to be".

Ten years ago I was a freshman in high school; I knew some of the seniors & normally talked to them if I saw them. One afternoon my best friend (shout out Joyanna) & I (we happen to STILL be best friends til this day) were waiting for either her dad or my mom to pick us up from school. While hanging out in the student parking lot, these two seniors came up & started talking to us. Their names were Jack & Jace, I happened to think that Jace was really cute; I mean he was a senior after all!! I was always too shy to talk to Jace so I would talk to Jack (one of his good friends at the time). We get to talking & I say, "Wow, someone smells really good." Jack then says, "Oh, it's me I'm wearing Jack in the bottle." At the time Christina Aguilera’s Genie in a bottle was a hit. I happened to think that was really funny and that's really the only memory I had of those two fellas.

Fast forward to May of this year, my mom decided to go ahead & move back home (ten hour drive south) to take care of my grams. I came across a rather overly excited young lady whom I will name Roberta, she is a friend’s mom and their place was always and still is the "go-to-house" after school. If you wanted a home cooked meal Roberta would stop what she’s doing and make you anything you wanted, there's always cookies, snacks, brownies, shoot it is a freaking Sam's store in her kitchen. Well on the day my mom was heading to leave on her journey home I stopped by Roberta's house and had dinner with her and her daughter whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. After dinner we then head to the famous "porch", a few other people join us, it was a freaking North Garland reunion. Then low and behold Jack comes driving up and makes a grand entrance with his music blaring in his car, I didn't recognize him till he came and said hello and tried to give me a hug and I just sat there. I just don't hug random people I had to figure out how I remembered him, after my rejection with the whole hug thing I noticed he did a double take like who is that. Roberta asks Jack if he remembered me and he said, "Yvonne, that’s you?" Shocker I know, I guess I really was an ugly ducking that turned into an average looking duck after all these years. We then reminisce about high school and I brought up the whole "Jack in the bottle", he thought it was pretty cool that after all these years I remembered that.

Roberta's son was getting married in June and Jack needed a date and I wanted to go to the wedding since now days I don't really get to enjoy weddings since I always have to work them, I wanted to actually enjoy it as being a guest. Then Roberta's daughter suggested that Jack ask me to be his date, it was kind of on the spot but I accepted. It was getting pretty late and I decided to head home, I said bye to everyone and that was that. The next day I went to Roberta's house to talk about Jack, what was his situation… single, attached, interested?! Jack had recently moved back from Vegas and he had just ended his three relationship with his ex girlfriend, whom I know by the way. I didn't really know how to take it just because I'm all about girl code and I would never date one of my friends ex's, it’s just something I personally wouldn't do. But this particular situation was different, I mean I never hung out with her outside of high school ever, she was still living in Vegas and he was in Texas. As Roberta & I are talking Jack pulls up I'm thinking oh wow talk about timing we were just talking about him. The three of us are talking outside and Roberta decides to go to sleep, Jack and I stayed up for eight hours just talking about life in general, what we want out of life, what we've been up to since high school, what we are looking for now. Not gonna lie with every other guy I’ve had a wall up and if you were interested in me then you would have to try to break my wall down, with Jack for whatever reason he knocked the wall down with a single touch. Maybe it was the way the stars were aligned that night, maybe it was "fate" I mean ten years later I meet “Mr. Wonderful” after going through so much with my ex Paco, this stuff only happened in the movies. As I was sitting there thinking all of these crazy thoughts we check the time and it's six thirty in the morning, we decide to go to IHOP for some food, on the way back from IHOP he then says, "Yvonne, I would really like to take you out on a date before the wedding, I like hanging out with you, I think you're a really cool girl and I love you're personality." I'm thinking go on....hahaha just kidding I then accept and we finally end our night/morning.

A few days go by and we talk on the phone everyday and I'm beginning to see that this guy is starting to put a smile on my face just by being "him". Co-workers are even starting to question me like, "who is this guy, where did you meet him, blah blah" It's about two weeks before the wedding and Jack ask if he should get the couple a gift since he's in the wedding and I say yes, I even offer to go with him to help find a gift. The plan was, he was going to pick me up at work since I lived in Frisco at the time with my co-work Cassie and her husband Alex and it was just much closer to the mall. I send him a text with the address to my job, several hours go by and I get a page to the front desk. As I'm walking to the front I see a couple of my co-workers standing around with these big cheesy smiles on their face and I'm thinking what the heck is going on, I reach the front of the store and Jack is standing there with flowers and cupcakes from Sprinkles. I was seriously pleasantly surprised; I never thought in a million years that someone would bring me flowers just because they wanted to. I've gotten flowers on my birthday but I expected it so this was defiantly something that truly moved me. We walk to the tuxedo dept because my co-workers and some guests were "ooohhhhh-ing" & "aaaawwww-ing" he then says that he was in the area and just couldn’t wait till I got off work to see me. After he left I had this stupid silly puppy dog smile on my face for the rest of the day. Ok, the wedding happened and everything was happy go luck, then all of a sudden the text stop coming my way, fewer and fewer phone calls, and its to a point where I maaaayyyyybbbbbbeeeee see him once a week. Before he was all about driving to Frisco from Wylie, none of this was making any sense to me.

It's Fourth of July weekend and I spent it with my side kick in life Natalie, we go out have a grand old time...the next morning I'm waken by a phone call from Jack he then says he wants to spend the evening with me since its one of my favorite holidays and he wants to see fireworks with me. I say ok sure see ya around seven-ish, I normally spend Sunday's with my sister and brother (we’ve always done family day since I was a young pup) it's about two in the afternoon and I'm driving in the car with my sister, my phone rings and it's Jack he then tells me that his family is in town and that he's gonna have dinner with them but he still wants to see fireworks with me. I say that's fine I just really wanna see fireworks. After lunch with my family I go and take a nap and wake up at eight thirty and no phone call from Jack, this strikes me as odd, an hour later I get a call from him saying that he hasn’t gone to dinner yet with his family and doesn’t think we will get to see fireworks STRIKE ONE. I'm pissed because I cancelled other plans with MY friends for this guy "Mr. Wonderful" and he bailed on my favorite holidays. Cassie saw how upset I was and said,” Yvonne put your shoes on and get in the car." She drove me to a gas station so that I could see fireworks on Fourth of July, again thanks Cassie. He then calls and says he's so sorry, he didn’t plan this blah blah blah he wanted to make it up to me and discuss what happen. This should have been a red flag as to how many time other times he would screw up and try to apologize for it.

I had a doctor's appt one day and finished up early I decide to call Jack since I was literally in his area and wanted to see if he wanted to grab lunch, he says he "very" busy but he wanted to have dinner that night so I say ok, he was gonna pick me up at home and we would grab dinner somewhere in my area. I decide to go visit my friend whom I hadn’t seen in like two years, we have lunch talk about her married life, the new baby and then it starts to rain, I stayed at her place till the rain stopped and at this point it is seven thirty so I sent Jack text saying I'm still in his area and it seemed silly for him to drive all the way to Frisco when I was like ten minutes away and I could meet at his place if he wanted. I didn’t hear from him till an hour later with a text that read "hey I just got to Luke’s house, we ordered pizza, and what are you doing?" STRIKE TWO I’m super pissed cause this is the second time he made plans with me and cancelled...common courtesy people pick up the freaking phone and say you have other plans. I sent him text back saying "I'm hanging out with my friend having a really good time, enjoying your evening talk to you next week." oh that got his attention, he called my phone like three times leaving messages "next week? what’s wrong?" The next few days go by and he sent me a text saying, "Geez, you must be really mad at me, what did I do?" I didn’t respond till I got off of work and basically told him that I didn’t appreciate him making plans with me then doing his own thing, I thought it was rude and if he cant keep his word then don’t say your gonna do something. He calls me like two days later and wants to take me to dinner to explain what happen......we go to dinner, it was super awkward. He proceeds to tell me that he’s sorry; he didn’t plan it, whatever. I then tell him that for the short amount of time we’ve been hanging out all I’ve heard from were “sorry’s” and excuses and I didn’t want any part of it. He says he was going to try harder and all I could say was “prove it”

My birthday month…after that night at dinner he tried doing all the things he was doing from the get go but it just wasn’t the same. I was coming to a point where he needed to step up his game and if he didn’t then I was gonna be done with him. He was going to be meeting THE FRIENDS….I was really nervous just because I do value my friends’ opinions and I didn’t wanna disappoint. He gets there and he says hi to everyone and that was pretty much it, he didn’t try to make an effort to get in good with my friends like normal gents do, instead he kept to himself and was just there. The bill comes around and the waiter asks everyone who’s together and who’s not, he finally gets to us and Jack then says that he’s on his own ticket which lead me to say “looks like I’m on my own as well” with this grin on my way that was like WTF?!?!?! STRIKE THREE As I’m pulling my debit card out my friend asks if she really heard him say that and I was like yep, so I excuse myself and go to the ladies room to cool off and as I come back I notice my debit card still on the table but the bill is no where to be found. I’m thinking oh Jack probably picked it up cool, the waiter returns with everyone’s bill and my friends boyfriend leans over the table and says “Happy Birthday Yvonne, you shouldn’t have to pay for your own birthday dinner” I say thanks and I’m mordified….we then head out to a bar and I’m the type of person on my own birthday I typically don’t get too hammered just because I like to insure that everyone is having a good time. We walk in the bar and the first thing Jack says is you want a shot? Really…..you will buy me $7/$8 shots but you don’t wanna buy me dinner…..not interested!!! After that night I was completely done with him, he tried calling and texting me but I never answered.

Labor Day weekend, I get a text from him on Friday around 9pm and it says “hey how have you been?” really like I would respond to you….11pm comes and I get another text saying “wow, guess your really mad at me?” umm you think…..1am rolls around and I receive yet another text from him saying “look, I know you are mad but if you could just give me your time to explain I would appreciate it”. I was in Austin while all of this was happing and I wanted to enjoy my weekend with my family, Sunday rolls around and I’m just lying in bed and respond to his text by saying “honestly you don’t deserve me time” he then replies with “you are right but if you could just give me the chance” I say “you know it is what it is, just take it as a lessoned learned” he doesn’t like what I’m saying then replies with “oh I guess you have never made any mistakes or been confused about a situation” ha I say “oh no I’ve made plenty of mistakes, I’ve just learned from them and know that’s not something I wanna do again…..HENCE lessoned learned” he says “I’m not trying to play the blaming game but I’ve thought long and hard about it and I wanna be your friend now.” WHOA….REALLY?? I say “well I’m glad you thought about it but that’s all I was trying to do from the get go was be your friend and if something else came out of it then great but clearly being my friend was such a difficult task for you so again just take it for what it is!” his finally response “ok Yvonne, ok!!”

It is amazing to me how much B-S guys will say/do just in general, clearly with this fella I thought how cool would it be to say yea we went to high school together didn’t see each other for ten years and then we met up again and are “meant to be”. All I got from this guy was lie after lie, excuse after excuse and the one person who says it best is Carrie Underwood ….

“I should have known by the way you passed me by there was something in your eyes and it wasn't right. I should have walked but I never had the chance, everything got out of hand and I let it slide. Now I only have myself to blame for falling for your stupid games, I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face. I'm starting to see everything you lack. Boy, you blew it, you put me through it, I wanna undo it”

Guess I ……….

“Should’ve said no a long time ago”