You remind me of...

It’s funny how much crap guys will say to try to impress you or make them seem more interesting! This next “story teller” is the reason I started to blog about my experiences so…thank him…..

A few months ago I had received a message through Facebook, from a guy named Enrique. He went to high school with me (shocker), he was older then I was, and he resembled the EX!! The message was a little odd…the subject was “?” and it read “How do I know u sorry for asking that “I responded back with “Asking what? I'm confused????” 20 seconds pass and he writes “I was trying to figure out how do I remember u didn't u go out with Paco” yea I’m sooo sure, we have the same mutual friends and his default pic was with one of mine and Paco’s friend. I replied with “Yes sir for 9 yrs. we haven't been together since January” he writes “Ok cool. Me and andrew r. brother where talking bout u and I was like didn't she date Paco and so I was just wondering. So how r u and what do u do” I like how he was trying to be a smooth operator with the questions so I wrote “Oh geez hopefully is wasn't anything bad haha ekkk I've been good just working a lot and trying to stay busy! I work in a Bridal store in west Plano. Meeting new people, going on dates with some real Dallas douche lords haha what about u?” The messaging lasted for about a good two hours, towards the end of the conversation he writes this “I think I might get a cocktail or two if u want to met up for a few drinks. Don't be scared.” I lived in Frisco at the time and every thing was pretty out of the way from everyone else so I wrote “Where do u even live @....I'm like super far” he then tells me that he lives in G-town but was “always” in Frisco…so it was a Tuesday night and I didn’t have anything going on so I decided to met up at Gloria’s.

I get to Gloria’s and I see him at the bar…its a little weird cause I never said a word to him in high school but all of a sudden I was meeting up with him, as I make my way to the bar I notice he looks sooooo much like my ex. He stands up and greets me, we hug then he pulls the chair out for me to sit in. The first thing he says is “wow cant believe you came” I just said “ well I didn’t have anything else going on tonight” We talk about high school, I even tell him that he resembles Paco and he kind of got upset because apparently he gets that a lot. In high school I knew my ex had a brother that went there and I always thought it was Enrique hahahaha until I actually met his brother. He then tells me that my ex is actually an acquaintance of his and they hung out last week and they were talking about me……ok I was thinking, I thought he didn’t “know who I was” now all of a sudden you and my ex are acquaintances and yall are talking about me hmmmmm. I don’t say anything and let him just talk the night away. He had made a comment about me living in Frisco and that I must have a lot of scrilla…aka money and that I was living the good life, but then he told me he was looking at houses in Frisco that start off at about $1,000,000.00 . PUH-LEASE DUDE!! He asks what type of car I drove I tell him (Jeep Liberty) then he tells me this story about how he has an Escalade but someone rear ended him and that’s why he was driving an old Buick. First of all I could care less what type of vehicle you drive, second I hate liars!! I then say “well if someone else hit you, wouldn’t your insurance cover that and wouldn’t you be in a rental?” he says “well the person who hit me didn’t have insurance so he’s just gonna pay me little by little” yeeeaaaaahhhhhh I’m so sure.

Here’s where it starts getting interesting, after the car conversation out of the blue he says “oh and if we start hanging out I don’t want you to get star struck of anything but I’m really good friends with Jason Kidd (Maverick’s), we call him Kiddy Kid so if you hear me on the phone and say that name that’s him, we hang out all the time.” Hahahahaha little did he know that me and T-New (Taurence Newman) hung out a few times and that I actually went to his house and beat him at Guitar Hero (one game) but winning is winning!! Only because my friend was dating him a few years ago but I said “oh I don’t get star struck, me and T-New hung out a few times, so I know how to act around “celebrities” he had this shocked look on his face and said “you know T-New?” I then tell him yes, my friend dated him and we hung out a few times no big deal. After that we end the night and the next days to follow I would get the text messages, the phone calls the whole she-bang. It was the first football game of the season and he asked me if I wanted to join him and his friend at a sports bar in Frisco so I said sure. I get there and the tab is completely free, his friend is a beer rep for the sports bar so everything was taken care of. A few drinks start flowing and I’m starting to feel a little tipsy. We end up kissing (GAG….DOUBLE GAG) and he kept calling me “princess” all night, I thought it was kind of cute until I heard him call every other girl “princess” at the bar.

The next day we were both off and he called me during the day and asked how I was feeling, we talk about random stuff then I say something along the lines of  “hey its cute if you call other girls pet names or whatever but can you please call me by my given name” he says “oh I’m sorry princess, but I like to treat girls I’m interested in like princesses…I even call my mom princess” this doesn’t settle well with me so I said “more reason to call me by my given name…Yvonne”. We end the call and I got a text from a guy that I know and he asked if I wanted to grab dinner, the day was still early and I wanted to weight my options so I didn’t respond to him quickly, an hour or so goes by and my friend Natalie asks what I’m doing that night I say nothing really, and she said she would call me after work to discuss plans. A couple of hours go by and Enrique calls me and asks if I wanted to join him at his company happy hour…I was a little uneasy cause we really didn’t go on a first date and he already wants to introduce me to his co-workers!! EEEKKK!!! I told him that I was either gonna go to dinner with a guy or hang out with my friend whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. He got jealous and said “so are you gonna get mad if I talk to a girl at the bar?” WHAT??? I say “umm you are free to talk whom you want and when you want, you and I are NOT exclusive, I barley know you.” He didn’t like the fact that I said that and said “so are you gonna go on a date with guy or hang out with your friend?” I just said “I don’t know yet and I didn’t know I needed permission from you, I gotta go bye”

I end up going out with my girl, and on the way to her house Enrique calls me and I picked. He’s at the bar with his co-workers and he says “so you meeting with that guy for your date?” I say “relax!!! No I’m actually going to meet up with my friend.” I could tell through the phone that he was smiling and he said “aww so you ditched the guy for me?” I say “ummm don’t think for one second that you had any influence on my decision, I wanted to see my friend so don’t flatter yourself” He then tells me that all his co-workers thought I was “cute”, “adorable”, “really pretty” and I said “what are you showing them my facebook pic?” he then says “no, I showed them the pic we took at the bar” RATS!! I completely forgot about taking a picture, good thing it was before the drinks were flowing. Then he says “oh, yea and they did a background check on you and I know how many tickets you’ve gotten.” CREEPER!! I’m all about doing a background check on someone you don’t know but to actually tell the person oh hey I just did a background check on you is a little strange!!! I got about my business with my girl and it was a fun night.

The next few days are ehhhh not so good, he keeps sending me text messages and I’m not really responding to him like I did before just cause it really bothered me that he would do something like. One night I finally say “you know to be honest with you; I think you’re a cool guy but I’m not really interested in you. We can do the occasional text every now and then but you just remind me too much of my ex and I’m trying to move forward not backwards” he writes back with “its cool, I need to focus on me anyways you’re a cool girl but to say I remind you of your ex is an insult.” OOOK I don’t say anything back cause I didn’t know what to say, as I drive up to my house which was 3 minutes later I get another text saying “I thought you said looks don’t matter and that you give guys chances” yes I do give guys chances and you obviously blew yours when you did a background check on me and became a little too controlling when we weren’t even anything. I didn’t respond back to him text but I kid you not, 5 minutes later he called me and I send it straight to voice mail and he said “I was out of line with the text, I’m sorry, come up to this bar and watch the game with me” are you kidding me?!?!?!?! I didn’t go, and till this day this guy still texts me like…if I haven’t responded to the last 5/6 text probably not gonna start now….guess I………

“Should’ve said no a long time ago”

FedEx…….doesn’t always deliver!!!

Ahhhhh….one of the great joys about being single is that EVERYONE is always trying to set you up with someone; or they know a friend of a friend that would be “just perfect” for you. A few months ago some of the ladies at work had been telling me about one of our FedEx guys….he rarely came into our store, but the times he did they made sure to let me know. By the time I would get to the back of the store he would already be in his truck and be on his way. So I was really curious to see what the hype was all about….

One day at work my co-worker told me that we had a package that needed to be picked at our location but it wouldn’t be our normal guy that would pick it up, and that it’s the guy she’s been trying to get me to check out. I of course head to the nearest mirror to see if I could try to improve my face at all and run my fingers through my hair to give it a little bit of volume. A few hours go by and I hear the FedEx truck pull up…I was nervous, I don’t know why but my palms started to sweat and my heart was pounding. This is going to sound really cheesy but as he opened the door the sunlight beamed through the room and all I could see was his silhouette, he was really tall about 6 feet tall and was very lean but still had ehhh some definition in his arms and through out his shoulders. Well hell he was really good looking, he had olive skin, brown hair, and did I mention he was tall. Hahaha he greeted me with a smile and I smiled back, he picked up his boxes then was on his way. About 20 minutes go by and our normal UPS man Mitch walks in and I ask him questions regarding the FedEx guy. He then informs me that he’s aware of the guy but has never met him, and word on the street was that every girl thought he was attractive.

After our first sighting, Mitch “randomly” ran into the guy and just causally asked him if he had picked up some packages at the bridal store and he said “yes” then Mitch says something to the effect of “oh well there’s some one there that thinks your cute” and Mitch said this is what he said “oh the brunette?” So I guess he was checking me out as well…Gotta love good ole Mitch, he did some detective work for little ole me and every day came back with a little bit more information. The first day was his name Jonas, second day was his age and relationship status, 36 and recently single. Third day was that he was on Facebook and I got his last name, he has a really long last name and he even took time to write it out for me. Freaking Facebook I swear hahaha, once I got all his info my co-workers even my boss were like “lets look him up on Facebook, ask to be his friend, give Mitch your number on a business card to give to Jonas”…..GEEEEZZZ relax!!! I said “Ill just ask to be his friend on Monday, ill let him enjoy the weekend.” Then my very lovely friend Cassie says “Yvonne, think about it, you guys may talk tonight, you could hang out on Saturday, and could really hit it off with him. We can plan you wedding next month…” hahaha just kidding about the last sentence but she did say everything else, so I finally gave in and asked to be his friend that day.

I was in the process of moving that weekend and during the move he “accepted my friendship”. I sent him a message saying “I thought I would go ahead and introduce myself (well kind of).....I'm Yvonne, you came into my job to pick up a couple of packages the other day. So hello…” a few days go by and he replies with “Hi there! I'm sorry, ive been meaning to introduce myself to you too, but im without a home computer at the moment, and im going thru a bit of a painful breakup. But, I must tell you how flattered I was you took an interest in me..when the ups guy told me you asked abt me, it seriously made my day! Afterall, you are obviously very pretty! I would love to get to know you better, not really sure where I stand at the moment, just coming out of a serious relationship so recently and all...but sometime soon I would like to meet for a drink or something...do you live in north dallas by chance? I live in Austin Ranch and tend to stay up north...”  yea I think I got it the first time you mentioned you just got out of a relationship…I respond back with “I'm actually really familiar with that area, I just moved to Garland from Frisco about a week ago. I would like to get to know you as well, and trust me I've gone through a break up I’m really just looking to met new people. Here's my number (XXX) XXX-XXXX” A few weeks go by and he had to come into our store to pick 2 packages and I was sick as a dog…..I couldn’t talk, I looked like crap, I felt like crap and of course things like this only happens to me. He comes in and by this point pretty much all of the employees knew what we were trying to brew something

up in the back (in regards to me and Jonas) so one of my co-workers who is CRAZY was back there and he walked in and seemed fine, I said hello then turned away I couldn’t let him see my at my worst, he was like 4 feet away from me and the crazy co-worker was saying something and he just looked at me like huh, he leaves and that was that. I got a text from a number I didn’t know and it read “of course you would schedule a package when im sick as a dog ;)” I just responded back with “I swear I had no clue and that makes two of us”

Game one of the world series…me and my friend Kathryn (shout out) went to Twin Peaks to watch the game with some older fellas, during the game my other friend Natalie text me and told me they were keeping it low key and just staying in Austin Ranch. A light bulb went off in my head, FedEx guy lived there and I was heading there after the game….why not! I sent him a text telling him that we were gonna be in his neck of the woods and he was more than welcome to join us if he wanted. He responded back with saying that he would join us….he gets there and I introduce him to the gals I was with then decide to go across the street to the other bar. We get there literally 3 minutes later and we head to the patio, we pick a rather large table so at this point he is directly across from me…we all start talking amongst ourselves and then out of now where he says “Eva Longoria!” I say “huh?” then he says, “I’ve been trying to figure out who you look like and you look like Eva Longoria” I say “why cause I’m short and have brown hair…ha-ha thanks but people normally tell me I favor Jennifer Love Hewitt” my friends take the compliment a little better then me and say “aawww that’s sweet” drinks start flowing and then he asks me why me and the ex broke up. I say the truth and say “we just wanted different things out of life and we grew apart” so I guess different things out of life really intrigued him because he asked “like what?” I elaborate and he starts to laugh….I say “you’re laughing because you don’t want those things or what?” I should’ve known that this was going to turn out bad considering this was the first time I had ever hung out with him and I barley knew him but cant take it back now…

I’d rather not go into detail about our conversation but I can tell you that during the middle of it, out of now where this fool starts yelling at me. We hit a pretty deep topic and I don’t know if that was why he and his ex broke up but he had a lot of built up aggression and I was the lucky one that he blew up on…..after his yelling I said “ok whoa! Stop yelling at me and second, maybe we shouldn’t have talked about this the first time hanging out.” Well if I had a buzz going that definitely was a buzz kill….towards the end of the night he apologized for yelling and that he was just passionate about the topic, blah blah blah I saw him maybe one other time after that night and it was super awkward and come to find out Mitch ran into him one day and asked if we were hitting it off and apparently he said “no, she’s a really pretty and sweet girl but we just want different things out of life and there’s just no point in wasting each others time.” AMEN!! And this is exactly why I don’t try dating someone JUST  for their looks, if you can’t have a serious conversation with me and try to get to know me for ME then I’m not interested. I’m not trying to be someone’s “arm candy” because call me crazy but looks do fade and I want something way much more than that! Guess I….

Should’ve said no a long time ago

Creeper McCreeperson

This next blog really isn’t anyone I dated; I just thought I would share what goes on in my life at work…..One of the perks of my job is that I get to see some rather good looking fellas, and I also come across some average Joe’s. I normally help them adjust their tuxedo, we make small talk then I send them on their way. Well I had two different situations where these guys couldn’t take no for an answer.

The first guy was about 5’7”, dark hair, fair skin, and wore glasses. When he came in to try on his tux he was a little shy and very soft spoken. Once he came out so I could inspect him, I asked him if he knew the bride or the groom. He begins to tell me that he grew up with the groom and that they were childhood friends; as I’m letting out the hem in his pants he’s telling me stories about him and the groom. I also had to do some minor alterations on his coat sleeve and explained to him that he could either wait about 20-30 minutes for his things to be ready or he could come back the next day. He decides to come back the next day, as he’s getting dressed he asks me about my job, how long have I work there, was it a busy season, blah blah blah. He comes out and hands me his rental, I then tell him that he could come back anytime after 1:00pm to pick his things up. After explaining to him what was going on he was just standing there, staring at me with this blank expression on his face so I ask him “did you get all that?” I don’t know if guys feel a little bit brave because of where the tuxedo room is located (a room off to the side in the corner) but he says “yes, you are so attractive, I can’t help but stare” CREEEPER!!! So I thanked him and as he’s walking out, he randomly shouts out “we should grab coffee” then he’s gone….WTF?!?!?!?!

The next day a little after 2:00 he comes back in to pick his rental up and he says “I was being serious when I said we should grab coffee.” I say “oh wow, I’m flattered but I don’t drink coffee…it stains your teeth.” He says “ok then lets grab lunch” I then say “again I’m really flattered but I just broke up with my boyfriend like 2 days ago and I’m not over it yet” (just for the record it had already been like four or five months since the split….but yes I pulled out the “I just broke up” card on him) as I’m saying this to him he leans over to grab my business card and was like “well can I at least have your number?” talk about being forward…..I say “ummm I don’t just give my number out, sorry” he didn’t like this answer so he asks “ok, what about your email?” WOW this guy was very persistence, I say “again, I’m really flattered I am but I’m just not ready to date anyone right now.” He never gives up he says “well good just give me your number and I’ll call you in about a month or two and you should be fine.” This fool here….I swear!! After about another two minutes of going back and forth of me rejecting him he finally gave up and pulled out his card and said “when you’re ready give me a call” Hopefully this guy isn’t waiting around for me to call him….

The next guy….the wedding he was in was one of our consulting clients, the bride wanted all the guys credit cards to be charged  because they weren’t going to  be coming in to try on. I ran all the cards and one of the cards got declined, I call the fella up and he told me that he was going to be getting paid on that Friday and that he will have the funds in his account, also that he was going to be picking his up because he actually lived in Dallas, unlike the other guys who were from all over. Friday comes and he tries on his tux and everything fits, he gets undressed then pays for his tux. As we are waiting for the receipt to print out I saw that he took one of my business cards. He signs the receipt and he’s off.

An hour or so goes by and I received a notification from Facebook says I had a message. As im staring at this I don’t recognize the name at all so I’m curious to see what it says, I open it up and it reads “Do you by chance work at stardust?” I’m normally the type of person that responds back fairly quickly, whether it be text message, phone call, freaking Facebook, so I say “Yes.....” he then replies with “Dang you're quick lol well I picked up my tux earlier I figured there aren't many yvonnes out there not a creep promise haha I was wondering if your single if you would want to go out sometime thought I'd take a shot in the dark” well the very first thing I thought was CREEPER….haha I’ve said this before, I know it takes a lot of courage to ask a girl out so 9 times out of 10 if I get asked out by a guy then why not, I believe everyone should get a chance BUT…the fact that he took my card and ask through Facebook…come on!! So I thought about how I could reply by not being bitchy so this is what I said “I'm really flattered but it’s a conflict of interest” he says “It's cool just worth a shot! Have a great rest of the day” I didn’t want to be rude since I had already rejected him so I just said “You do the same!” well I thought that was the end of the conversation but he had to go and throw this in “

Thanks if you change your mind let me know, I would really love to take you out :) “

Some may say that that was “game plan” but I mean seriously guys, what ever happen to the old days and I mean back before cell phones were out and you actually got to get to know someone, rather then try to Facebook stalk someone…I wont end it with my “signature mark” seeing as how I never really went on a date with these randoms…